Almost Over

It's really late ... late into the morning, late in the year. Almost at the final hours. I have been listening to this song an awful lot, especially while running. I love the lyrics. I love watching Rob sing. I imagine it come from a special place where in which lies much pain, endurance, humility. I suppose they could be empty words; however, when I watch him, it appears he's thinking about someone, perhaps his wife?

It has really been a hard year. I think it has been hard for many. This is usually the season to be jolly, but I just don't have it in me. I'll just veer from all the merriment a bit, and reach out to all the lonely hearts out there. I want to say, you are not alone. You are in the company of many. But you will be okay. A complete stranger told me that once.

So, here are some thoughts to carry ... don't hold on to anger, it only makes you bitter. Observe and believe when people show who they are, because it's often different than what they tell you. And most importantly, do what you say you are going to do, or don't say it. Toying with people's emotions is cruel. Oh, and one more thing ... learn how to give others dignity; it always matters, whether or not a person is able to receive it at the time.

Coming To An End

It's December, 2009. I love this month, especially the scents of winter--mixture of dark chocolate, wine, evergreen, and fires. I was actually in a store the other day and checked out this new fragrance. It had tobacco and vanilla as primary notes. I really wanted to like it, but it was so linear. Of course I digress (this annoying habit of going off on rabbit trails will be on my New Years resolution list for sure). But anyway, back to the scents of winter--mmmm--the yumminess of cookies, pies, and breads baking. It's the only time of year I actually like to bake. It reminds me of what the holidays should be.

Okay, another year almost gone, and what do I have to show for it? Well, for one, cutting down on extravagance--taking it back to the basics. I'm doing a lot of donating, throwing out, and reorganizing. I am really sick over all the "stuff." But it's so hard, because most of what I have, I have either received as gifts or remind me of some time in my life. Well, it doesn't matter, I still feel the need to simplify. At least for the sake of my sanity. Now, I'm not getting rid of everything ... because, years from now, I want to be able to give my children a decent selection of coolness.

What else am I doing? Brushing up on French. I promised myself I will not go to a French-speaking country if I am not conversationally adept (or at least not going to embarrass myself). I can't believe I let this die. I mean, what was I thinking? And I am going to write more. At least for the sake of my children. I do this because there is little to no history of my family. So much was lost and I barely have pictures, letters, or objects reminding me of where/who I came from. It's as if there were Mom and Dad, but almost nothing before them. And that makes me feel lost. Thankfully, my grandfather is a great story-teller. I love hearing about his childhood--about his courting of my grandmother, the wars, the way things used to be. He's almost 88 years old, and still jogs every morning.