Wednesday, April 10, 2013

new beginning

spring is finally here + i think it saved me.  saved me from myself + all the tendencies coming along with a typical midwestern winter.  the pain of cold is like knives.  hard steel slicing + slashing away at any + all hope for relief.  the sharpness never dulled, endless really, but here we are ... at a new beginning.  again.

i went for a hike today hoping i could arrest the constant spiralings of my mind.  the woods crackled + snapped under each step as i made my way to the river below.  evidence of life peeking out here + there amidst the decaying brownness, until i was greeted with the loveliest carpet of green speckled with delicate yellow.  it was here where i made a small promise to myself.  it's the same promise i make every year.  also the same promise i break ... every year.  but today was different.  because i decided to stay.  stop running away from it all.  stay to make peace with, to embrace this place i have chosen to be in life.

as i headed towards my car, what struck me was the sound of winds crashing against the tallest tree branches.  + wouldn't you know it, with closed eyes, i could have sworn i was next to the ocean.  a small gift to me.