it's one of the hardest things to do you know, letting go. because there is comfort in the familiarity. there are moments of connecting, skin upon skin, sharing of pains, laughing at sillies. but the distance + silence never really leave for more than those moments.
when he touches your face, and softly whispers "baby," these moments can't be erased. i wish they could, to soften the fallout. because the real sharp pain begins once you say "good-bye." to indefinitely walk away from someone you love, or think you love, because no matter how many times he calls you "baby," or tells you he wants to go away to louisville, miami, thailand with you, how amazing his touch is, he is still broken. you are still broken. two broken people finding relief in those moments. enveloping, high on each other, but then the crash. and all that is left is emptiness, quietness + despair.
i loathe the crash. so much that i can't partake in the highs with him anymore. being with someone who doesn't want you as much as you want him is something to walk away from. and you learn to live without him. you learn the compromise was more of a short-changing. and maybe one day, if you heal, if he heals ... i don't know. but at least there is a chance for happiness.
when he touches your face, and softly whispers "baby," these moments can't be erased. i wish they could, to soften the fallout. because the real sharp pain begins once you say "good-bye." to indefinitely walk away from someone you love, or think you love, because no matter how many times he calls you "baby," or tells you he wants to go away to louisville, miami, thailand with you, how amazing his touch is, he is still broken. you are still broken. two broken people finding relief in those moments. enveloping, high on each other, but then the crash. and all that is left is emptiness, quietness + despair.
i loathe the crash. so much that i can't partake in the highs with him anymore. being with someone who doesn't want you as much as you want him is something to walk away from. and you learn to live without him. you learn the compromise was more of a short-changing. and maybe one day, if you heal, if he heals ... i don't know. but at least there is a chance for happiness.
